Monday, March 28, 2005

sleeepy

well just as the heading says, im pretty beat right now.. gonna head to bed right after dumping my thoughts here before i forget them first thing in the morning.. oh but first.. thanks to jia wei and family for the generous hospitality over the past few times ive been here! =)

right here goes.. im sure every single one of you out there has had some form of experience like this; it starts off with a sort of trigger situation which involves you.. these vary in nature.. and then you start feeling awkward/confused/embarassed/hesistant, like hey, of ALL the things, this shouldnt be happening..(eg: why is he/she being like that? is it something im doing/didnt do?).. when instead it should be like THIS - [insert scene of gollum retrieving the one-ring-to-rule-them-all] and you repeatedly tell yourself this in hope that things will automagically fix themselves as the situation progresses.. (DENIAL)

after watching yourself get fsk-ed.. the after effects start sinking in.. that icy-sharp stabbing feeling smack right middle in the chest (havent found the proper words to fully describe this yet), the remorse of taking a particular action, the loss of mood or interest generally ...etc (these vary depending on your situation) which just plaaain sucks big time.

i think that life is all about looking for those oppurtunities (plenty of them mind you).. taking the risks.. and making the leap before its too late. you may never know when you might come across that chance ever again..

sigh.. where is your heart?

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